Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft

Ah, LOVE ….the most addictive elixir in the world next to the chocolate. It can make us so giddy and happy. Who doesn’t want to be in a relationship where they are cherished and loved?

I’m certain that some of you remember the song from the movie Urban Cowboy, “Looking For Love in all The Wrong Places.” I love that song, and I am sure we have all felt like that at some point in our lives when we were looking for our prince. Well, once the euphoria and bliss wears off, we start getting these mixed messages from this beautiful being that sound like they are coming from someone else’s body.

So, what happened? What changed to tarnish the blush of our budding romance? The reason our prince (or princess) turns into a frog is that we weren’t real clear with our instructions to the universe when we started out on our search for love in the first place.

As I am a firm believer in true romance, I’d like to help you in your quest for that perfect mate. Here’s the big secret you need to know before venturing forth into romance-land: you got to have a clear map for the journey. You wouldn’t leave on a vacation without a map or GPS would you? Of course not.

Here are some course direction questions to ask yourself before you start out:

1. What does your dream relationship look like? Example: My partner must be loving, respectful, fulfilling, playful, trustworthy.

2. What would be a critical success factor in a relationship? Example: He/she has to have a great sense of humor, be playful, lead a balanced lifestyle, able to show vulnerability, be secure in who they are.

3. What would be a critical failure factor in a relationship? Example: They must not be judgmental, critical, possessive, dishonest, lack communication skills, afraid of commitment.

4. What is your clear intention of what you aspire to in a mate? If you are looking for someone to complete you, forget it. That is a dead end road. Look for someone to compliment your already existing full life. You will experience a lot more freedom and dignity when someone enhances your life.

5. What are some of the positive traits you’d expect of your partner? Example: Must be handy around the house, makes you laugh, cooks a mean dinner, enjoys spending quiet time with you, and appreciates your worth as a human being.

6. What would he/she look like? Example: You can make a collage, but sometimes love comes in unexpected packages. Looks will fade with time, but a kind heart lasts forever.

7. What are the traits (gifts) that you bring to the relationship?

I know this list sounds like a lot of questions and a lot of work, but then how serious are you about finding a soulmate? The clearer directions you give the Universe, the faster you are going to find who you are looking for.

Here’s the bottom line. Is this a recipe for the end all, be all for beginning a perfect relationship? No, it is not. Does it mean that you will never disagree or fight? No, it does not. What it does mean is that you have a better chance of working things out in the relationship if you’ve attracted your potential partner using a clearer criteria list.