Written by Lew Hamburger
QUESTIONS FOR BOOMERS (and other humans)
Can a vision of white, non-urban people becoming a minority in America have anything to do with the vitriol we see in political life of 2010? Does it differ from other times that Boomers have been through? Thus far the level of violence is far below that of the ’60’s or 70’s. What accounts for that? Who is doing what to whom? Have we learned anything along the way?
In an odd way those questions were sparked by Soledad O’Brien’s recent CNN investigation into minority group feelings of inferiority. It revisited the 1940s “doll test” studies of Kenneth and Mamie Clark and included a 2005 re-creation that added White children to the test subjects. In the Clarks’ work, from a choice of dolls dark or light in skin color, Black kids consistently chose Black dolls as the “bad, stupid, or ugly” one. In the study some sixty years later, White kids were added to the subject pool. Results were similar; both groups of kids chose the lighter skinned pictures (not dolls this time) as the pretty, smart, good kids and the darker ones as the bad, ugly, stupid ones. One would think that more than ten decades of civil rights progress might have had greater impact on the way kids see themselves in relation to other groups.
SELF-HATRED WITH GROUPS
That, in turn, prompted me to head to the storage shed to dust off Kurt Lewin’s seminal discussion of self-hatred among minority groups from 1941. In it he points out that within every minority group there are forces pulling a person to or away from that group. According to the Lewin approach, this phenomenon stems from a child’s early realization that the path to happiness is to identify with the majority, people who seem to have a better life with easier access to the things and lifestyles that could make them happy. The desire for acceptance is then heightened and accelerated in adolescence. Forming a view of the kind of person you are and want to become is blurred and confused by that gnawing feeling of inferiority and being outside of the majority.
STUCK IN PERMANENT ADOLESCENCE?
Have we seen people like this? Do they seem stuck in a kind of permanent adolescence, groping for an identity, wanting follow the American dream of being able to do whatever they find meaningful yet frustrated by an image of themselves as inferior and thus frustrated, angry, somewhat self-righteous and on the edge of violence?
Essential to Lewin’s view is his observation that “To gain status is one of the outstanding factors determining the behavior of an individual in society. The privileged group usually offers its members more and hinders them less than does the less privileged group,” and further suggests that “an influential section of the more privileged majority prohibits free mobility.”
But what happens when that balance is shifting, when less privileged or minority groups are becoming a majority
NUMBERS, FEELING THREATENED, AND IS VIOLENCE NEXT?
Is it possible that those who felt comfortable as an overwhelming and controlling majority now feel their domination and influence eroding in the face of increasing numbers of immigrants and minorities gaining access to the “ladder of success and power”?
Regardless of numbers, as long as they feel that tradition, custom and social structures provide protection and control of decision-making, there is no need to resort to violence. But what happens when the “more privileged” can no longer prevent free mobility, when minority groups and/or people of different beliefs and life styles cannot be kept from decision making and power? Could one result be their feeling like adolescents… uncertain of who they are and where they fit and thus acting in accordance?
WHAT TO DO?
What, if anything, can be done to reassure people who have been in the majority throughout their lives face changing demographics without heightening anger and anxiety?
Here are a few thoughts:
1. Reduce the threat. Where strong efforts to include minority and underprivileged groups have been strong, now the same must be done to assure the former majority that their rights, if not all privileges will be protected.
2. There must be something tangible and new “in it” for people who feel threatened.
3. Include members of these people in decision-making…. Even if it hurts and slows processes.
4. Identify and protect the most precious elements of a life style that is changing. If there is simply no way to resolve differences, find something that can be traded off, even though it may be seen as less precious or tokenism.
5. Remember that life is basically simple, that we complicate it when choices get tough. Most people do good and only want to be assured they will be able to lead a reasonable life, focused on family, work, and with some meaning.
6. Try to maintain dignity. Remember Ghandi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, Hillel: “If I am not for myself, who will be for me; if I am for myself alone, what am I; if not now, when,” and Jesus, ” Love your enemy, do good, and lend without thought of gain.”
There may be a telltale difference between what’s happening now and social upheaval in the 70s, 60s and even centuries beyond. During those times someone from each group was listening to the other. Talking or writing when no one’s listening is a definition of wasted breath.
Is anybody out there listening?
You may respond to Dr. Hamburger in the “Leave a Comment” section below or email him at lhamburger@boomer-living.com.
After forty years of working as a psychotherapist in trauma, disaster relief, suicide, abuse, and depression, Lew Hamburger, Ph.D. always has been most impressed with what is NOT taught in universities or practiced, but that which helps people in crisis. He has used these lessons learned to negotiate race riots, work with Hurricane Katrina survivors and the Canadian Red Cross, author two books, lecture around the country, run marathons, and raise three children.
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