Human nature is complex thing. We are born into a family unit, go to school, meet hundreds of different people, go to work and then retire. I all that time we are bombarded with various messages and thoughts from other people. For better or worse other humans do affect and influence how we feel about ourselves, but only to the extent that we allow them to.

When we're young, we are unable to separate ourselves from our parents. However as we get older and assert our own identity, we often don't realize that many family patterns and thoughts are already in our heads!

Perhaps our low opinion of our selves i.e. our low self esteem comes from the way our families felt about us, about themselves and about life in general. Perhaps it was something that was said at school. Maybe you had a few hurtful comments from an ex, or maybe your family had a peculiar trait that spanned generations, and you were blessed with that 'curse'.

Whatever the cause, just remember that it is never as important as setting your own self esteem. Now that you're an adult you can consciously choose to drop the garbage and negativity from the past, and focus instead on developing a fabulous loving relationship with yourself.

Some great techniques to developing your self esteem are:

1. Write down a list of all the negative points you've picked up about yourself, and where you think they came from. Now go burn this list. Please note: You only need to do this exercise once!

2. Write a list of all your positive traits, skills and experiences in your life. List everything you can remember no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Review this list at least 2 - 3 times a day and feel the positive emotions when you do it!

3. Be body aware. Take time out of your day to focus on your body for about 5 - 10 minutes. Notice your posture, your breathing, any pains and tensions. Gently breathe into any discomfort and imagine your body relaxing and becoming light. Use this time to appreciate your body. If you're feeling body conscious or even negative, start small. Love that pinky, your eyes, your elbow.

4. Be aware emotionally. Every day for 5 - 10 minutes focus on how you're feeling. Are you stressed, anxious, angry, tired, happy, light? Gently focus and breathe on your emotions and imagine them getting lighter if they're negative or more intense if they are positive.

5. Be spiritually aware. Every day for 5 - 10 minutes focus on your spiritual connection to what ever you believe in. Experience the love, peace and connection and let it fill your whole spirit. You are whole and perfect just because you are a human being in a loving universe.

6. Just love your self as you are. If you didn't get the love, attention or support in your life, then it's time to give it to yourself. For as Buddha said:

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection"

Take the time to give yourself healthy food, regular exercise, fun times, connection with good friends. Look after your physical appearance by taking the time to choose clothes and accessories that look great on you. If you don't know where to start, drag a friend to the shops (preferably one with a bit of style sense!) or ask a shop assistant.

Author's Bio: 

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