Effective Listening
All too often we are far more enthusiastic about talking than we are listening. Yet it is so vital if we are to communicate effectively. Most breakdowns in relationships are caused because people talk at each other without really making contact. Unless someone hears what has been said including the subtext the words have little value.
When we are actively listened to we feel valued and are far more likely to engage in negotiation and compromise. Listening is about far more than words. Watching facial expression and body language is often a far more accurate barometer than the words that are being used. Nice things being said where the smile doesn’t reach the eyes is an obvious example.
10 tips to becoming a more effective listener
1) Make eye contact.
2) Read the body language of the talker. Are they relaxed, anxious, angry? Extremes are easy to recognize but often the message is much more subtle.
3) Mirror the talker’s body language- subtly, a gentle dance rather than a caricature.
4) To be an effective listener it is vital that you listen actively.
5) Show that you are listening, nod, make appropriate responses.
6) Ask relevant questions, ask them to clarify if you are not clear about their meaning.
7) Summarize: so what you are saying is………
8) Be careful of the tone of your voice when you respond or ask questions. It is all to easy to come across as judgmental or as an interrogator from the Spanish Inquisition
9) Use empathy. Acknowledge difficulties, but be careful not to fall into the trap of going into anecdotes from your experience. “ I sense that you are finding this rather difficult” rather than “Oh I know, it happened to me but mine was bigger, more difficult etc”
10) Take a real interest, if you are simply going through the motions, the lack of sincerity will be obvious to others. Leave your ego behind, concentrate on the other person.
www.graduatesolutions.co.uk
www.recoveringworkaholics.co.uk
Gina Gardiner has been described by Ofsted as an “inspirational leader” and by Investors in People as an “impressive coach and exceptional mentor who has developed an innovative and exemplary training scheme” for emergent, middle and senior managers.
Gina has a huge interest in leadership, she has led a wide range of training and facilitation activities with individuals, schools and other organizations, In her work as Independent Consultant and as an Executive Life Coach and mentor she supports people at individual or organizational level to develop confidence, leadership and people skills and effective delegation; empowering them to see themselves as part of the solution. She is a Neuro Linguistic Master Practitioner and a qualified coach.
Author of “Kick Start Your Career” and “How YOU Can Manage Your Staff More Effectively (And In Doing So Pave The Way To Your Next Promotion)”
Graduate Solutions is a branch of Gina Gardiner Associates which offers training, mentoring and coaching to support the development of leadership from emergent to Senior Management level.
Recovering Workaholics was founded by Gina Gardiner a self-confessed recovering workaholic.
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