Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
In relationships, we are always on the lookout for ways to please the other person. Nothing wrong with that, except when you constantly try to seek validation from others and act in a manner that is not the natural ‘you’ then the relationship suffers. Personal empowerment and a belief in your ... Views: 12657
Self-absorbed. Self-centered. Selfish. Narcissist. These are a few of the terms that we normally attribute to a person with an overwhelming sense of entitlement, a belief that they are the center of the universe, and to a person who doesn’t consider how their actions affect anyone else. ... Views: 7449
There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do ... Views: 9655
Remember when you and your sweetheart first met? You counted the minutes until you saw him again. You called just to hear her sweet voice. The air was alive with the snap, crackle & pop of sexual energy. You couldn't get enough of each other and you were always on your best behavior. It was easy ... Views: 1621
INSIDE RELATIONSHIPS
BY JAN DENISE
RELEASE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2009
Treat Problem, Not Symptoms
Q: I am in desperate need of some advice. I feel that my marriage is going downhill fast and I want to save it. Let me tell you the story.
A couple of years ago, I accidentally found ... Views: 1572
“I’m so fat,” my friend exclaimed. She’s a whole size 8, which is celebrity speak, that makes her about the size of Beyonce. In her defense, she is shorter and is packing more in her bum than Beyonce, but, she’s still thin nonetheless. I didn’t comment after she said this because I know all too ... Views: 3398
With Thanksgiving drawing near, I believe this would be an ideal time to discuss the role of gratitude, validation and appreciation in the art of lovemaking.
Of course, when we feel validated and appreciated in any aspect of our lives it deepens our sense that we truly matter in this crazy ... Views: 5701
Every breakup comes along with its own different set of mental ordeal. What precisely brought about the separation involving Andrew and Linda would likely have basic resemblance with what caused the breakup involving Julia and Frank, however, each has a number of unique attributes which needs to ... Views: 3716
As a Relationship Confidant, women come to me frequently with this same perplexing question: What does it all mean when the man in my life is distancing himself from me? As a Guy Spy into the Male Mind let me help clarify this male phenomenon. Women as we know tend to be extremely relational ... Views: 21603
Some women get really hurt from just a few month fling? Why? Because they invest too much, too soon in the relationship and have soaring expectations of it. They buy into the fairy tale they concoct themselves that this is it: he's the One and they're "in love" not realizing that the dizzying ... Views: 18497
I'm sure you know that in order to attract the right man you need to feel great about yourself. That's why Step One of my 6-Step Find Hope and then Find Him System is Who Am I: Falling in Love With Myself. You have to know why you rock and truly believe that you'll make some lucky man a superb ... Views: 1776
Mirror Reflects Hunger Within
Two out of three Americans are overweight, making obesity the second leading cause of preventable death. Instead of eating less, we spend $35 billion a year on weight loss products.
We're not stupid; we're in pain. We have an emptiness, a yearning, a hunger … ... Views: 1582
What are couples really meaning when they say, "We can't communicate"?The issue with understanding what this means is what they mean by "communicate."All too often, when a partner states, "We can't communicate," what he or she means is "I can't get my partner ... Views: 10307
Your fear of being rejected because you are imperfect is exactly what is getting you rejected.
Yah…I know I’ve written about this a million times, but two recent experiences reminded me of how major this is. So here I am reminding you in case you still don’t get it.
Me…Popular? My Junior ... Views: 1578
You may have read books like the "The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success" by Deepak Chopra, or "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey, or "The 10 Keys to Personal Power" by Brian Tracy.
Included here is The Checklist of 15 Questions To Answer YES to for Cultivating a Healthy ... Views: 1277
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
In the September 14th edition of the Huffington Post an article entitled, Prenuptial Agreements Are They Necessary? Two Legal Experts Debate, causes us to chime in on this important debate based upon our 30+ years of research on successful marriage ... Views: 2519
"A Fine Time for Healing" is a Blog Talk Radio podcasted half hour sanctuary for your emotional wellbeing. Show host and author of Fine...ly, Randi G. Fine, discusses life-skill topics that heal and enhance our life experience. Tune in for informative, inspiring, uplifting, and empowering tips ... Views: 1910
It is sad to say that all things and happy times can reach to its final end. Thus, it is a challenge for you and for all of us in ending the relationship gracefully. Sometimes, the break up experience is a traumatic one for many, but you can change it if you want. So here are some key points for ... Views: 4834
Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do?
Rather than describe all the differences between the ... Views: 2111
Whether you’ve been in your relationship for 2 months, 2 years or 20 years, we don’t have to tell you that making the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.
We’ve both also made this decision ourselves in our ... Views: 2143
I constantly go to the hardware store looking for apples! Why do I expect to get soothing support from those people that are unable to provide a compassionate ear, and instead I receive critical and judgmental verbal abuse. Because that may be an old unconscious pattern that doesn’t serve me ... Views: 1730
Clinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ... Views: 2209
Are there any "holes" in your relationship?
If you're like us--the answer is yes.
In fact, in many relationships there are usually quite a few "holes."
"Holes" are those things in your relationships and life that you may know are there but it's always a surprise when you fall into one. ... Views: 1444
"Pre Wedding Jitters VS. Second Thoughts" C. 2009 by Pamela Smale Williams LPC LMFT AAMFT AASECT
The ring has been chosen and placed on the bride-to-be’s left hand, a symbolic representation of the circle of love that will follow and is accompanied later by the glorious wedding band that ... Views: 18624
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
“A BET THAT BOTH PEOPLE WILL DEVELOP AT THE SAME TIME AND IN THE SAME DIRECTION”
Befuddled by the meaning of this so special contract? Are you pondering what makes it so different from other “contractual deals” that we get into along life?
Here it is:
MARRIAGE is a ... Views: 1887
$$$ When you started with love don’t let it go!
Seen around the world of mine, there are people very happy in their relationship at the same time very frustrated with their relationship too. I feel very sad, when I see such people who are frustrated with their relationship and by their act and ... Views: 2155
Overview
The recent tsunami in Asia and major earthquake in Pakistan have highlighted problems long recognized in the helping professions. Caregivers have known well the potentially draining experiences of compassion fatigue – from experiences of policemen, firefighters, paramedics and other ... Views: 1645
Lindsay called me for counseling because her boyfriend of 18 months had just ended their relationship. Lindsay, 28, had been sure that Jake was "Mr. Right.""I am so heartbroken," sobbed Lindsay. "I don't know how I’m going to get through this. It feels like my ... Views: 6092
How often have you had the thought, "If you really loved me, you wouldn't... Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about meProject your behavior onto meWithdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TVResist doing what I ask you to doLook at ... Views: 3471
Dating sites report that their fastest growing segment are people over 50. My clients, women ranging from 35 – 65, are having great success with it. Face it: online dating is the new hot spot for people who wouldn’t dream of meeting someone in a bar.
You know I’m a huge proponent of online ... Views: 1488
Your pet knows the truth of who you are!
Many of us know how unconditionally loving most dogs naturally are – unless they have been abused. Even if you don't have a dog, you've likely seen the joy they express when their person comes home after being gone for even a few minutes.
If ... Views: 1750
I used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of others instead of themselves. I thought that ... Views: 4778
Rejection can be a very good thing.
Until you find the man who brings you the love and joy you deserve, you should thank the men who reject you. These men are doing you a favor. I think they know – consciously or not – that they won’t be able to give you what you need; and they know it before ... Views: 2405
A lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice ... Views: 15722
It is in our nature as a woman to want to feel cherished by the man we love. We want to be wooed and pursued, to be made to feel special, adored and to be treated like a princess. The question is how far would a man be inspired to satisfy our primal needs as a woman?
He's Really That Into ... Views: 25982
How to Make First Sex Fabulous Sex
By Al Link and Pala Copeland - 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra
The heat is on. You can literally feel it arcing between you. Whether it’s an enticing stranger you’ve just met or a special someone you’ve been slowly getting to know, ... Views: 4461
Are you perfect? Do you know anyone who is? Look at the people you know, especially those in midlife or older. Do you know anyone who hasn't had some rough times behind them or who are not currently facing life challenges?
It’s doubtful, because this is real life; not the movies. Those of us ... Views: 1761
Gretchen is typical of many of the clients that I work with. In our first session she said:I've been depressed on and off throughout my life. Medication helped for a while, but now all it does is make me feel more flat and empty. Life seems to have no meaning for me. Nothing looks beautiful. ... Views: 2502
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Do you know the difference between real love and infatuation? They are light years apart.
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In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.~Margaret Anderson
Real ... Views: 2760
"Let's talk tonight," said Callie."Oh no, not again!" thought Darren as he gave Callie a blank stare, feeling like a deer in the headlights.Darren knew from past experience that "Let's talk," meant, "Let's talking about what you are doing wrong, and about how ... Views: 4563
The lanky blond man bends to come in the door of the deposition room. I am there with my Stenograph set up ready to go. It's always best when an expert witness is the first to arrive: You can chitchat with him, put him at ease, find out what he is an expert in and how he talks, because you ... Views: 3071
Take a moment to think about who you blame for your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, aloneness, emptiness, loneliness, helplessness, inadequacy, shame, depression, anxiety, fear, and so on. What is really going on inside when you blame someone else for your feelings?
Many people have a ... Views: 3269
My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, "Why didn't you speak up for yourself?" here are the most common answers I receive:"I want to keep the peace.""I don't want to ... Views: 2312
One of my clients recently said, “I don’t think there’s something wrong with me; I just think I’m doing something wrong.”
Bingo.
The majority of women who come to me for help with dating and relationships lack confidence. Most are sure something is wrong with them. What else would explain ... Views: 1779
We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” and this is especially true when giving a gift in a relationship. Simple gifts given to a loved one, don’t have to be for any reason other than to let them know that you care and are thinking of them and these gifts don’t have to be ... Views: 4556
I know of a woman who so longed to be loved, held, and not feel lonely that she gave her lover, a man she hadn’t known long and knew to be a criminal, all of her life savings—some forty-three thousand dollars to be exact. He promised, along with his abiding love, that he would give her back her ... Views: 1535
Being alone can be, well, LONELY! And most of us – even those who like to be alone – don't really like to be lonely. But what can we do about it? Many of us find ourselves alone, and lonely, for a reason: our previous relationship just ended, we've tried and tried to sustain a successful ... Views: 4700
My life changed completely in my thirties. I suddenly found myself divorced, and on my own. It was a pretty dark time in my life. When you are in the middle of it all, it’s easy to think that the dark times are never going to end. But now I know that it was just a short detour on the road to ... Views: 992
My life changed completely in my thirties. I suddenly found myself divorced, and on my own. It was a pretty dark time in my life. When you are in the middle of it all, it’s easy to think that the dark times are never going to end. But now I know that it was just a short detour on the road to ... Views: 992
It's probably safe for me to assume that you're trying to overcome the turmoil you're going through because your partner chose to have an affair. I am so sorry for how these past few days, weeks and months have been for you, I know it hasn't been easy. But do no lose hope, because with work and ... Views: 1262