Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Some say we don't have anymore heroes but I say we do. Let's take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one.
A hero travels the hero's journey. That's when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred and we are asked ... Views: 2839
If someone were to throw a punch at you, you would likely try to defend yourself from getting hit. And if you were to feel the heat of a flaming fire, you would keep yourself far enough away to avoid getting burned. Self-preservation comes naturally as no one wants to experience pain and ... Views: 12055
“I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” – Vincent van Gogh
Meeting people is easy. In addition to the traditional ways like friends, societies, and other social groups, we now have the internet too. And provided we’re prepared to get out of our comfort zones, ... Views: 3484
Although we want to love and be loved, we also fear both. Our past experiences have programmed us to associate loving and being loved with unpleasant experiences and especially with feelings of vulnerability.
For these and other reasons, we have developed fears and subconscious resistance ... Views: 24687
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
This morning, a great friend of ours sent along an article that we were really taken with. For those who have read our book, Building a Love that Lasts (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010), you may recall a chapter entitled, “A Tribute to Lasting Love” (pp. ... Views: 8956
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Words Matter! What you say to the one you love is important! Negative and hurtful statements can have the power to cut through the very fabric of the bond between two people in love. Words can damage and potentially destroy the foundation of your ... Views: 1974
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
For the past several weeks we have been pouring over as much data as we can get our hands on to answer a question we are often asked – “How is the current Recession affecting marriage in the USA?” The answer is complicated.
Here’s what we do ... Views: 4954
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Recently, we traveled again to Europe to conduct more interviews with successfully married couples. Since we had not been to France in several years, we were beginning to believe the media reports about how the French did not like Americans. So, we ... Views: 1852
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
The truth is, for many couples, the empty nest is a time of great “re-discovery” of the love for each other. You and your spouse are finally alone after two decades of marriage because the children have all left home. Now what? This is a question ... Views: 2104
Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored. When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is - other than physical abuse.The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to ... Views: 10176
We've all seen cartoons in which a character shapes snow into a ball, perhaps to build a snowman. As the ball of snow is rolled, it grows bigger and bigger.
Pretty soon that snowball is quite large and here comes a slope or hill... The next thing we see are the arms and legs of our ... Views: 4471
For many people, family gatherings during the Happy Holidays aren't so happy. While most of us enjoy getting together at holidays, mixed feelings of love, anxiety and confusion often collide. But why in the world would family holidays cause consternation or anxious feelings? Why would family ... Views: 2096
How To Have a Happy, Healthy Relationship
These pointers refer to men and women but for ease of reference I will use the word “he” when referring to “he” and “she”.
1. APPEARANCE. An obvious one but needs mentioning. Look your best. Make sure you smell nice, look good and dress in an ... Views: 1636
This is the real question we all ask at some point in our life, is anyone there? Am I alone here, in the crowd, in the world? This article is about those moments, the times when we wonder if we are from another planet because it seems like no one can understand our feelings, thoughts and ... Views: 3558
If you live with an alcoholic you will almost certainly feel shame. Some people will experience it to a very high level others less so but almost everyone who lives with an alcoholic experiences it to some degree. You will probably feel anxious that people will discover your secret, that they ... Views: 3103
Many generations ago, marriage was about survival, property, money, securing family dynasties, and pragmatism, not love or sexual intimacy. Marriage remained popular largely because of the stigma attached to sex outside of marriage.
Now “love” is the main reason given for tying the knot, but ... Views: 1703
INSIDE RELATIONSHIPS
BY JAN DENISE
RELEASE: FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2009
Meet Six Needs and Bond for Life
Relationships make for a happy, fulfilling life or a miserable existence. So, why didn't our parents sit us down early on and teach us to do relationships well? If you think about ... Views: 1588
Let’s face it: Given enough time, arguments are an inevitable part of every single relationship – even the happiest ones.
We All Argue
It doesn’t matter how great your marriage relationship is or how happily married you are, it is practically guaranteed that, at some point, you and your ... Views: 3564
Here's A Relationship Question From Jessica:
Jessica says “I met B at a wedding a few months ago and we hit it off nice. After a few dates we started sleeping together and we’ve been in a relationship since then.
The first 3 months were hot and heavy, but since last week B suddenly ... Views: 5449
Your relationships are affected by your emotional health. The healthier you are emotionally the stronger your relationships will be with others. The best thing you can do for your spouse, family and loved ones is to take care of yourself. Here are some tips on how to take care of yourself so you ... Views: 1647
Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child ... Views: 44758
Always Stay In Love
New Love is exciting, fun and just comes easy, it seems to flow. After the new wares off and couples settle into the relationship they begin to go about life. What they fail to understand is being in love can always stay through out the relationship and last.
Do not ... Views: 1196
Relationships are the heart and soul of our society. If our relationships with others were to disappear, most of us would feel all meaning slipping away from our lives. Our husbands, our wives, our children, our parents and extended family, our co-workers and our friends help to create what we ... Views: 4878
In my work with couples, I often find a lack of trust at the root of many challenges they report.
Trust is a Verb
We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain ... Views: 5976
Do you feel ashamed when you lash out at the people you love the most? Do you wish you could erase it for ever and be free of this beastly emotion? That’s because there is a taboo against feeling and expressing anger, particularly if done in a loud, over the top and explosive way. We don’t ... Views: 2476
Would the prince have chosen Cinderella to marry if she was a miserable young woman? If her stepsisters were beautiful but miserable, would he have chosen either of them?
Are you living under the delusion that when you meet your soul mate you will finally be happy - that your misery is because ... Views: 18197
Forgiving other people is one of the most important things in this life! When we get angry at someone or have ill feelings towards them, for whatever the reason, the only one that this hurts is us!
Sometimes a friend, family member, or co-worker might make a joke, and it comes out wrong, and ... Views: 4753
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Over the past decade there have been a number of research articles expounding on the positive virtues of marriage and good health. We have reported on them.
And as you know, there are some very strong opinions that accompany the research findings – ... Views: 5144
What is an "Old Soul"
Just what is an "old soul"? This is a phrase that precedes "new age" ideology and reaches back into our old English lexicon. It embraces the idea that a particularly, wise, world weary, or compassionate person "goes back" into a time that precedes the present. It is a ... Views: 10244
Often I see couples or hear the sadness of friends who commonly complain about their mates and wish for a paradigm shift. I hear them echo “If they can only be this way” or “If they were more like that.” When I pose the question: ” Why are you in the relationship?”, the answers vary but they are ... Views: 3439
What if you just let go? Let it all go? All your attachments: your life as you know it, your identity, what you think of other people, of what other people think of you? Any and all ideas you have about who you are, what is and how it supposed to be, vanishing in the distance as you voluntarily ... Views: 1541
Stop plucking the petals off the daisy; it will never give you the real answers. Looking for Mr. Right is never easy, but one doesn’t really need special senses to know if your man is in love with you or not. And those plucking petals won’t tell you if he is in love with you either, but paying ... Views: 1042
You know someone that has had their heart broken and they are so hurt that they seem to withdraw from everyone and everything. You want to help, but you just don't know what to do. Read on for a few suggestions and tips.
Now if you did the heart breaking, that would be an altogether different ... Views: 3576
Commitment is a word that has been crashed in the vocabulary by men which is why men commitment issues are very known today. Fear of commitment is actually not a single fear, but it comes with various fears such as the fear of loss of freedom, privacy, financial damages and compromise. There are ... Views: 6502
If you're the kind of woman that loves adventure, life in the fast lane, and living every day to its fullest, then you should date an Aries. Aries are fire signs, and they have all the wild vigor of a forest fire. These strong people are not afraid of anything and will let nothing stop them. ... Views: 4414
An Issues Clearing Model for Better Communication
“You don’t understand me!” a wife screams at her husband. “How can I possibly understand you?” shouts the husband. “You’re not making any sense!!”
A mother bemoans to her teenage daughter, “We never spend any time together. You’re ... Views: 2452
In this article I'd like to take the conscious communication tools a bit deeper -- and teach you how to skillfully share one of THE MOST VALUABLE love tools: Sharing Appreciations. But not just any old appreciations, any old time -- it needs to be 'right' in order to pierce your sweetie's heart ... Views: 2398
As the Radio Love Psychic on the nationally renowned KXRK Radio From Hell morning show, I use a few sneaky tricks to get the quick, accurate reads on the callers. The first is that there are some unchangeable, immutable Universal Laws regarding people’s connections with each other. The next is ... Views: 787
Remedies
A common sense, Cost vs. Benefit Analysis (CBA) of your situation while under stress will often point to obvious changes you can make in order to change and improve the situation. For instance, working fewer hours is permitted! If you are exhausted, you will be less than fully ... Views: 1783
Take a moment right now to think about your real intention when it comes to love:
Is it most important to you to get someone to love you - to get love?
Is it more important to you to be a loving person - to give love to yourself and others?At any moment, you have one of these two intentions, ... Views: 3482
Over the years, I’ve discovered a relatively simple metaphor for understanding relationships and maintaining healthy relations. The metaphor is the lock and key, and you can learn a great deal about your interactions with others and how to make those interactions with others better contribute to ... Views: 3595
"We 'love' another in order to get something ourselves….There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything." -- A Course in Miracles
"Love is incapable of asking for anything." Wow! Take a moment to think about that ... Views: 3114
James, in his middle 30s, was ready to meet his life partner, get married and have children. After dating many women, he met Cindy.
"She is really beautiful, although I'm not sure she's my type. But I think she is perfect for me. We have the same interests, the same values, we go to the ... Views: 3376
In my counseling practice, I often hear people saying things like:
"It's my fault that she asked for a divorce. If I hadn't worked so much, she wouldn't have left."
"It's my fault that he left. If I had been more sexual, he wouldn't have had an affair."
I often hear clients ask, when I ... Views: 4828
Most people would love to have "real love," yet often they have no idea what real love is. Take a moment to think about how you would define real love.
Defining love is like defining a particular color to a person who has never been able to see color - you have to feel it know what it is. ... Views: 3451
"I can't seem to stop snacking," said Linda, in our phone session. "And I can't figure out why. I don't overeat during meals, but then I snack on things that I don't need to be eating. I've had this issue on and off since adolescence and I want to resolve ... Views: 3074
"Seek first to understand and then to be understood." - Stephen CoveyHow often have you heard yourself say:"I just want someone to understand me.""I just want to be heard.""I feel invisible.""I just want to be seen."I know what it feels like to ... Views: 8617
"My husband never lets me explain anything to him. It's so frustrating! He makes these statements that are blaming and attacking and then he won't listen to me when I'm trying to explain.""Why do you want to explain?""I NEED to explain because he is not seeing things ... Views: 3808
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Betrayal is one of the hardest things to go through, and it is vitally important that you deal with it in a way that doesn’t cause you even more pain.
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It is devastating when someone whom we believe cares about ... Views: 2905
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Joy is our birthright - a gift of Spirit. Discover the choices you can make to lead a joyful life.
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1. Self-Compassion Rather Than Self-Judgment
In the 44 years I've been counseling clients, I've never had a ... Views: 2874