Does someone else’s opinion of you determine how you feel about yourself? What determines your value: what you think of yourself or what others think of you? Self Esteem is your opinion of yourself. Good Self Esteem is believing in yourself. It means having an inner security that won’t be diminished by turmoil. The stronger your inner security, the less you require approval from others. Everyone has dreams for a better future. Your self esteem will determine if they come true or not.
Your interpretation of how life affects you determines what you think is possible for yourself. How you view what happens to you sets your limitations. If you determine an experience to be negative, you feel bad about yourself. If you feel it is positive, it expands your possibilities.
You determine what your Self is worth. If you have low self esteem, you don't think you're worth much and often think you are worthless, worth less, less than anyone else. Yet there is only one you and the person you are is distinct from every other person on this earth.
Deciding what the perfect you would be like, you then find that you are not able to measure up to that perfection you have arbitrarily set up in the first place. You think others must also see this terrible lack and judge you to be a far cry from where you are supposed to be. Yet the measuring stick you're using is one seen only by yourself. No one else knows about it. They, in fact, can think you are fine.
If you have high expectations but see no progress in that direction, it's often because you need to make room in your life by letting go of something. Holding on to opposing thoughts creates limits which obstruct and restrict what you can experience. Once something has served its purpose, it needs to be released to make room for new opportunities. If you want a new wardrobe and your closet is stuffed with clothes you no longer wear, you need to let go of the old to have room for the new. Similarly the same holds true when you want progress and change in your life.
When you want to begin something new in your life, there won’t be room for it until you let go of something already in place. As the old saying goes, something has to give. Spend less time commuting, relaxing, working, playing, socializing, sleeping. It doesn’t matter which area you choose, but choose you must. No matter how you divide it up, you can’t make more hours in any day. Just like everyone else, you have 24 hours. To add something new, something old must go to make room in your 24 hour day. Or you will have no time for it to happen.
Should you want to travel more but are afraid of flying and dislike driving, you can’t hold onto opposites and expect something to happen. Either get over the fear of flying or the long haul of driving, or give up the idea of traveling. If you want to climb the corporate ladder of success but lack the self confidence needed for public speaking, then either get happy with a lower rung that requires less ability or take the steps to gain the confidence you need. Your limitations become obstructions that restrict you. These are self imposed obstacles. You can choose to release them.
When we know and value our own self worth, no one can make us feel “less than.”
Lois Marie Gacher has been an intuitive self-improvement counselor for over 15 years helping hundreds of clients with her logical, down to earth approach. As a professional writer, she is author of a workbook for improving self esteem, Rise and Shine. Her company, High Esteem Seminars LLC, uses this workbook in their workshop, Destination: Success, as well as in their customer service training seminars.