So you think it’s time to discuss with your child about their diagnosis? Here are 3 indicators that will tell you if you are right:
1 Your child begins to show some awareness of his or her differences in comparison to family members and peers.
2 Your child shows some curiosity about what is going on for them, your child would need a reasonable level of self - awareness for this.
3 Your child is feeling ‘different’ to peers and his or her mood is affected by this.
How can you prepare for this discussion?
Before you get to this point develop a journal/ scrapbook/ memory book/ photo album of lots of positive things about his or her self e.g. memories, moments of competence, good work, kind acts, good behaviour, helpfulness, kind words etc. This is a time when you may need it most. It will help to put a focus on all the strengths and positive things for the child because he or she could feel a little down about the situation and this would be a great back up about wonderful things about him or her.
I want to share with you 5 tips to make this discussion easier.
1 Always keep it positive, we never want to make the word 'autism' have a negative association since it is a label that they will carry and there is no need for it so be negative- it is just a description of a different ‘type’ of person that has similar attributes to others.
2 Discuss how everyone is different, some people are good at some things, whilst others are good at other things. Also discuss how some people find some things more difficult than others do. BUT put an emphasis on EVERYONE having strengths and weaknesses and that is just a part of the way people are. It may help the child if you provide them with examples for yourself, peers or other family members, providing it would be OK with them to discuss it too.
3 Some children may benefit from the example of dyslexia as categorising a group of people who find it difficult to read and autism as a challenge with XYZ (make it personal to your child).
4 You can also discuss the fact that once people identify their differences or 'challenging/ weaker' points, they can learn how to improve them, if they want to. This may have the added benefit of your child wanting to take a more active part in their programme, as their self-awareness allows.
5 In general, you don’t need to make it a massive deal, talk about it casually, and put a big emphasis on everyone having differences and give lots of examples, talk about how boring the world would be if we were all the same.
Elisa Ferriggi is dedicated to empowering parents to feel competent in raising their child with autism to improve quality of life. By addressing the core deficits of autism and unlocking potential children are able to develop milestones required to connect with others and establish true relationships. Elisa Ferriggi has been involved in the autism field since 2003 and is trained in the following approaches Relationship Development Intervention (RDI), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Holistic Approach to Neuro-Developmental Learning Efficiency (HANDLE) Introductory Activities Coach, The Listening Program (TLP) Certified Provider .