Walking towards the life you want

I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle I just wish he didn’t trust me so much

~ Mother Teresa ~

Life has become a fast food meal to be scoffed down and digested on the run. We dont have the luxury of sitting down and enjoying the banquet of beauty Mother Earth lays before us. There is always something else to do and somewhere else to be. We are constantly on the run from life chasing time holding onto youth putting off old age. And yet with all this movement forward we are no closer to where we want to be.

So how to do we get to the place of peace we desire so much well it is easy one step at a time.
Of course there are those out there with endless lists and little booklets of life instructions and I can hear the cry now well I went through all the steps and ended up in the same place. I am not advocating you march through life in a series of regimented steps rather you take life by the hand and say Can I have this dance Then as any good dancer would get in touch with your partner be guided intuitively so the next step is taken without thought. Then it is a process of one step after the other a few backwards a couple forward but always in constant harmony with Life. People always ask how do I make it through this or how do I create change or fulfill my potential. It is simple one step at a time.

We are a society of quick fixes pills drugs self help gurus 2 minute psychics no one wants to hear the reality. The only way through something is to take one step at a time one day at a time one moment at a time. Loss of a loved one a job a relationship a home there are no magic pills to fix these things. Oh sure there are Band-Aids but we all know after a while these will peel off. Here is the thing you cannot deal with the world in one foul swoop you do not have super powers you are a mere mortal just like the rest of us. The biggest mistake people make is assuming they can put everything in a neat little box label it store it away and never have to think about it again. With loss of any kind you have walk through the emotions through the sense of loss the grief the anger the denial the sadness the letting go. And how do you do it one step at a time. There are no prizes for getting to the finish line first. Only those who reach a place of letting go will achieve peace of mind.

You want to know the most successful self help organization out there? Alcoholics Anonymous from this organization comes a multitude of 12 step programs. Key word being step one step at a time one day at a time one moment at a time. It is not fancy it is not complicated but it is highly effective.

Life is going to have challenges big ones small ones change is going to come in some form at some stage. You can pop a pill take another drink overload yourself at work or overdose on new age rhetoric. But unless you can magically transport yourself forward in time guess what you are going to have to walk through it. Oh you can try and run take the fast lane but life is like that grandma you overtook 10 miles back when you stop for a rest she is going to come right up along side you again. You can wave a magic fairy wand and try and make everything how you want it or try to change it back to the way it was before. However painting over something doesnt change what it is it just makes it prettier to look at. You can try and step around things but you will always be looking behind you watching and waiting to see if it will catch up with you.

Here is what happens when you take a step you close the gap between where you want to be and where you are. You do not have to be a rocket scientist to understand the logic behind it.

If you are grieving take step towards letting go.
If you are wounded take a step towards healing.
If you are confused take a step towards clarity.
If you are frightened take a step towards your greater self.
If you are lost take a step towards the light and out of the shadows.
One step at a time, one day at a time one moment at a time.

So what are the roadblocks that stop us taking the step

Firstly our ego we do not want to believe it could be as easy as a single step why because if we make it out to be harder than it has to be we can have a valid excuse for not doing it.

Secondly we lack self belief we do not believe we can get through it we would rather sit in it and pretend we dont feel it than acknowledge it and start the long walk home.

Thirdly we carry so many expectations about what things should look like we create an extra burden that weighs us down every time we think about moving forward. There is no right or wrong way to walk through lifes challenges it is your own insecurities that tell you otherwise. What works for me may not work for you the only thing we share could be we both took it one step at a time.

People verbally beat themselves up all the time with the I shoulds:

I should be doing better
I should be here or there by now
I should be more controlled less emotional
I should be stronger braver wiser

But did you know your strength is your greatest weakness? Why because it stops you being vulnerable stops you asking for help stops you feeling what you need to feel.

Wise people know to feel means to heal.
Wise people know you cannot walk around it you have to walk through it.
Wise people dont hold it in they let it go.
Wise people dont have expectations of what should happen they have faith in the process in the Universe in the Creator.

One step at a time one day at a time one moment at a time.

These would have to be the most common words of comfort spoken all over the world. We have all said them at some stage to someone struggling with life. You dont hear people go if you just read this book I brought or if you would only go to this workshop or is you could only hear this Guru speak at his next conference.

When someone turns to us who is facing a challenging life situation what do we say?
You have to take it one step at a time Why because it is true. You cannot jump frog past a step leap over a couple erase a few more. It is one step at a time one day at a time one moment at a time.

So here are a few parting contemplations:
This to shall pass time does not stand still I bet if you look back upon your life you will find many instances where life has thrown you up a challenge and guess what you made it through. Use these experiences to give you courage to take the next step. You have a better chance of dealing with change if you are moving when it comes to you. Stuff happens I dont care who you are and sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is not about blaming yourself for not thinking or doing the right thing. Going backwards into the past will not help you create a future. Take a step out of what might have could have should have happened the past is gone holding onto it is like trying to swim to the surface grasping an anchor. Take a step not in judgment not with expectation take it just because it will move you forward no matter what it looks like. And know in your heart you are walking towards something and there is someone walking with you. The Angels will not do the work for you but if you are listening with your heart they will let you know the work that needs to be done.

Walking towards the life you want

Step one: Acceptance of present circumstances and reality
You cannot change what you do not acknowledge the pink elephant in the living room that everyone seems to want to ignore is going to squish you sooner or later. Standing in your truth is not about judgment or shame or guilt it is about creating an authentic life of depth verses a shallow life based on illusions and deception of self. Sometimes you have to admit you do not shave your legs in winter, have a tendency to pout when you do not get your own way and always do the opposite of what your Mother tells you to do.

Step two: Accept responsibility for words and actions.
It wasnt me I didnt do it may fly for a five year old not so much for a forty year old. If you did own it, learn from it grow and move on.

Step three: Commitment to understanding
Ask the big questions who am I? I am someone who likes fried chicken wings, sloppy movies and cute babies. Where did I come from? My God did I say that out loud I sound just like my Mother! What are my dreams, hopes, fears what is stopping me getting where I want to be?

Step four: Letting go of guilt, shame, pride and ego
Pride is the anchor that keeps you in your ego cut it loose. Guilt is the stick you carry with you to beat yourself up every now and then because you forgot about step number two. Shame on the other hand if the embarrassment of discovering you are human after all.

Step five: Building a foundation
Anything built on a shaky foundation isnt going to last long. Pick four cornerstones for your base something like love, integrity or honesty, compassion maybe patience. Do an extreme make over of your belief system a spiritual renovation throwing out anything that no longer serves your highest good.

Step six: Finding the tools you need
Remember grasshopper what a carpenter builds with a hammer a teacher builds with words. It is not a good idea to borrow your neighbors tools now is a time to invest in some new ones of your own. If you go dipping into Oprahs toolbox chances are you will be building Oprahs dream not yours. Try some different ones if they do not work try some more eventually you will find one that will do what you want it too!

Step seven: Emotional and Physical healing nurturing the body mind
The only way through it is just that to walk through it. You can bury your head in the sand all you like but that will simply mean someone will come along and kick you in the butt. But there is no need to be afraid of this journey because you now have the tools you need to heal to nurture no need for a quick fix.

Step eight: Inner peace and stillness nurturing the spirit
This comes when you accept who you are, where you are and what you have yet to do. It is that moment when the moment you are in need be nothing more than what it is.

Step nine: Awareness walking awake
Notice now you are wide awake noticing all life has to offer, the endless possibilities, the joy and blessings. No more sleep walking through this journey for you!

Step ten: Walking through life with grace, dignity and gratitude I will not say the final step because we all tend to take two steps forwards and one step back on occasions. Grace is the inner beauty that shines as a guiding light for those coming behind to follow, dignity is living an authentic life standing in your truth and gratitude is acknowledging the blessings bestowed upon us the abundance in all its forms.

So now you are walking towards the life you want great isnt it! So maybe you wont walk as fast as the next guy thats okay, remember Elvis sang Wise men say only fools rush in or something like that. Life is not a fast food Mac Burger it is a banquet to be savored. Maybe you will have to retrace your steps thats okay too sometimes this is the only way to find what you have lost or misplaced. It matters little what matters more is you remember a journey begins with a single step.