I sat on a cold cement bench, with paper and pencil in hand. My college assignment: to observe the apes at the Detroit Zoo. I sat in front of an indoor cage that held a massive silver-back gorilla. For fifteen minutes I watched as he sat expressionless on the floor. I couldn’t believe he could sit so still and lifeless for so long. Just as I was getting up to leave, something happened that’s kept this gorilla in my mind since that chilly September day in1980. Lunch arrived.
The moment he saw it, pure joy spread across his face - the same sparkling expression that you see on a toddlers face when they hear a favorite song. The gorilla came to life, gently picking up a banana and peeling it just like a human being. His eyes danced with delight while he relished every bite. After finishing each banana he’d eat the peel. His happiness was so palpable. It captivated me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Then, it happened.
After finishing the peel of his last banana, like an Alzheimer patient, his personality slipped away. The blank expression returned as he sat motionless on the floor. It was like watching the death of a soul.
You might be wondering, “What does this gorilla condemned to life in a cage, have to do with my life balance?” You and I don’t live in a cage, but do you ever find yourself waiting for someone else to bring happy experiences into your life?
I have. I’ve waited for my husband to come up with fun weekend plans. I’ve watched mindless television waiting for the right show to come on to entertain me. Those were cages I imposed on myself.
The gorilla had no choice. He was in a real cage. Lucky for you and me, we can escape our self-imposed cages the moment we notice that we’re playing the waiting game, and use our own initiative to create the experiences we desire.
Here are three questions to ask yourself the next time you find yourself trapped in a self imposed cage.
1.“What can I do to take more responsibility for getting what I want?”
2.“If I were not waiting for someone to bring me happiness or success, how might I supply it for myself?”
3. “Am I enjoying the simple pleasures in life the way that gorilla enjoyed his bananas?”
Marilyn Suttle helps people create happier, more productive lives at work and at home with esteem building workshops and life balancing presentations. She also provides Option Method coaching sessions by phone or through corporations to uncover and release self-limiting beliefs and behaviors. Visit her web site at: http://www.SuttleOnline.net or contact her at Marilyn@SuttleOnline.net.