How can your ego prevent you from getting over someone

One thing that is very popular about falling in love is that sometimes people confuse being in love with wanting to protect their egos and public image. How would it feel like if people knew that you were dumped? Or how would it feel like if people knew that you weren’t up to satisfying your partner?

After a breakup one of the strongest reasons that make someone feel bad is ego involvement where the person feels bad because of his hurt ego and not because he loved the other person!!

Here are some of the common thoughts that come to people’s minds after a breakup:

• What will people say when they know that I was dumped?
• How will I look like after everyone knows?
• How will I face all of those who predicted that the relationship will never work?
• How will I face those who told me that I wasn’t not good enough for my ex-partner
• What will come to their minds when they find out that I was dumped?

In such a case the person is feeling bad and hurt because of the thoughts above that come to his mind as soon as he gets dumped. If that person was living alone in the desert with the girl who dumped him he won’t have felt that bad because he won’t have feared people’s response.

People do care about their appearance in front of others more than anything else and although this happens with different degrees still everyone cares about his looks and public image. One of the false common beliefs that people have about being dumped is that it means that you are not that good. It’s this false belief that make some people feel real bad after a breakup because for them being dumped means that they are not good enough or not even worthy!

If someone tied his self worth to something then the threat of losing this certain thing is equal to the threat of losing his self worth, and the actual loss of this thing is like the actual loss of self worth. When someone ties his self worth to the acceptance of his partner he becomes more attached to his partner because a breakup will mean the loss of his own self worth.

Again this person cries, feels bad and becomes depressed thinking that his soul mate left him and that he can never find someone as charming as this person but in reality it’s just the fear of people.

So the very important question you should ask yourself after being dumped or after losing someone is, “am I really sad because I lost him or is it just my ego?” If you are a normal human being then ego involvement will definitely be a part of the bad feelings you are experiencing and not just because of loving that person.

I am not saying that the only thing that makes someone feel bad is ego involvement but it’s one of the reasons that contribute to feeling bad after a breakup. As you move further in the book you will become introduced to more and more reasons that can make someone feel bad after a breakup, the more reasons you understand and deal with the easier the breakup will be.