Have you ever received a compliment and gotten flustered
because you weren't sure how to respond?
Your mind starts whirling with questions:
Did you deserve such a nice compliment?
Would you seem too full of yourself if you agreed?
Should you simply look away and say a quick thank you and then change the subject?
Now imagine how you feel when you give someone a compliment. They did something very well, and you want to let them know that you recognized it. So you tell them, and they immediately deflect it or dismiss it or ignore it. How does this make you feel? I bet it hits you right in your gut and makes you sad. It probably feels like you gave them a gift that they immediately sent back. And you'll think twice before you compliment them again.
And this is how your loved ones feel when they compliment you.
The next time someone compliments you, remember that it's okay to own it.
It's okay to think that you deserve this praise.
It's okay to feel great about yourself.
It's okay to feel great about your accomplishments and wonderful traits.
It's actually better than okay.
It's important and great and wonderful and completely necessary.
This is a hard lesson and might not come easily to some of us - me included.
After receiving some recent press for our business, we've had the completely foreign experience of being recognized several times in our daily lives. It's something that I hadn't prepared for and takes some getting used to. Seeing yourself through the eyes of others is a great lesson - being told that we have inspired them is wonderful to hear, especially if we can learn to own it instead of deflect it. This is what it's all about for us. We love helping people, and we are thrilled that our books are doing just that.
So I'll continue to work on being able to fully receive the love that you all are giving us.
And the next time someone asks me to sign their book, I promise I won't get all flustered. I will simply thank them and sign it.
And hopefully you can do the same in your own life. The next time someone gives you a compliment, simply accept it, smile, and say "thank you."
Jodi Chapman is the author of the inspirational blog, Soul Speak; the upcoming book, Coming Back to Life: How an Unlikely Friend Helped Me Reclaim My True Spirit; and the bestselling Soulful Journals series, co-authored with her amazing husband, Dan Teck. www.jodichapman.com