I am sure that you all have heard the old adage that if you want respect you have to earn it. That saying is so true but I want to add onto it from the things that I have learned during my life experiences. You have to earn it, give it, and demand it all at the same time. If you do these things you are guaranteed to get respect. Now you may not be liked very much at all but you will be respected. Don’t confuse the two. I would rather people hate me and respect me than like me and take me for a chump.
Many people attempt to earn respect by being condescending which is just not the way to go about it. When people perceive you to be condescending they see you as not having much self esteem. This is a formula for defeat because if you don’t have a good opinion of yourself they won’t have a good opinion of you either.
Many on the other hand believe that force is the key. They use threats and intimidation in order to get their way. Intimidation will cause you to be feared but not really respected. You may ask me what the difference is between the two and I will tell you like this: When people fear you they obey out of a sense of not wanting to be punished but when they respect you they follow your leadership out of a motivation to serve you. Sometimes you may have to use intimidation in order to begin to establish respect but after you have established control you need to change gears and ratchet things down a notch or two. People who serve you out of fear will show little initiative. They will generally do just enough to keep you off of their backs, but when they respect you they will perform out of a desire to make sure that you are pleased or taken care of. Respect goes much farther than intimidation.
There is a bible story which tells about King David’s mighty men. In the account it tells of the king and his men being engaged in a hot battle. The king spoke to himself out loud and voiced the desire for a cup of water from a well which was in enemy hands. When several of his best warriors heard his request they broke through enemy lines, got the water for him, and fought their way back. Now that’s respect. They certainly would not have done so if they didn’t love and respect their leader.
People who do not respect their leader will have no sense of urgency when they carry out his requests. They won’t do so out of a sense of obligation or duty. They will only do so for a reward or to avoid punishment.
People who like you won’t necessarily feel as if they need to move when you ask. People who respect you will.
Now you will get more respect as you learn to give it. It is much easier to get people to feel obligated to you if they sense that same obligation coming from you. There is a saying that you should lead by example. The same thing is true about respect. You need to teach people how to show you respect. The best teacher is example. If you are in any type of leadership position you will be looked to for answers. The people in an organization always reflect the spirit of their leaders. If you have been there for a while I guarantee that the attitude that you see in your followers is a reflection of something in you. It may not be a direct reflection but it will be influenced by what you do. You will have the respect of your subordinates if you learn how to give, earn, and demand it. The Good Life
Cedric Rice is the founder of Riceland Enterprises, which is composed of several different business ventures. This company is currently located in Georgia.
Riceland Enterprises is one of several web sites that Mr. Rice owns and operates which is oriented towards consumers along with Military Ring Express, and Fragrance Oil Express