As children we all have needs that must be met appropriately and consistently for us to thrive and become self actualized as adults. If our needs are not met, or they are met erratically or inconsistently, we develop traits or characteristics that are our defensive attempts to meet out own needs. Many of our dysfunctions or coping styles are the consequence of these unmet needs and our responses to our childhood. Working with the inner family and our inner child is a therapeutic tool to intra-psychically begin to meet those nagging needs and to create corrective emotional experiences that have a lasting effect on who we are and how we function and respond in our relationship to ourselves, each other, and our daily lives.
Before you do the inner child work, doing the following hypnotic processes to create a new inner father and mother is helpful so your inner child will have the resources available for inner parenting. If you grew up with out one parent or were adopted, do the inner father and inner mother process with a person who was a representative figure of that parent: a step parent, a teacher, neighbor, or uncle, for instance. It will be most effective if you record the following process in your own voice so you are free to respond and you won't have to keep track of the sequence of instructions and suggestions. Make sure to leave plenty of time between each suggestion.
Self-Hypnosis to Create the Inner Father
Sit comfortably in a private place where you will not be interrupted. Adjust your body so that your back and head are supported. Close your eyes and take a deep clearing breath. Breathe in relaxation with your in breath... and breathe out any discomfort, tiredness or stress with your exhalation.
With each cycle of breathing imagine breathing in the positive of what you want to feel and letting go of what you wish to release with each out breath. With each cycle of in breath and out breath you become more and more relaxed.
Imagine that you are in a safe and beautiful place. You are surrounded by beauty and positive energy. You feel at home and protected. Look around you and take in the surroundings. Notice the colors and textures. Breathe in the air as you notice the temperature and the fragrances. Notice the time of day and the quality of lighting and shadow around you. Listen to the sounds around you. Take it all in. You feel supported by this special place. You are safe.
You find a place to sit awhile. As you relax, you invite your inner child to join you. Notice you inner child. How old is your inner child? What is he or she wearing? What is the expression on your inner child's face? What is his or her body posture and what is it expressing? As you observe your inner child, what do you perceive that he or she needs?
Imagine your father standing in front of your inner child. Notice how he is dressed, his facial expression and his body posture. What does your father's state of being communicate to the child? How does your inner child feel standing with his or her father? Where in the inner child's body or in your body do you feel the response to your father? What do you feel? What does the response communicate to you about the relationship you share?
Standing with your father, is your father's inner child who is about the same age as your inner child. Notice your father's inner child's dress, his facial expression and his body posture. What does this child's state of being communicate? What does he need?
Standing with your father's inner child is his father, who is your grandfather. Imagine that your grandfather has all of the awareness, skills and resources to parent and lovingly support your father's inner child. Imagine that your father's inner child has his needs met appropriately, lovingly and consistently. Notice how your father's inner child responds. Your father's inner child begins to grow up. As he develops his needs are met appropriately, lovingly and consistently, day after day, week after week and month after month. He grows in to a man. He is a man who experiences his wholeness and in his wholeness he has plenty of love and attention and wisdom to share. And as an adult he is present, giving, and engaged as a parent. Your father's inner child has grown into a healthy, loving father for your inner child. Your new inner father has the time, skills and resources to meet your inner child's needs. Notice your inner child standing with his or her new inner father. Notice your inner child's facial expression and body posture. What is your inner child experiencing now? From this moment on whenever your inner child needs attention, protection, holding, appropriate boundaries, and love, your inner father is present and engaged in parenting.
You make a place in your heart where your inner child and inner father live. A place where they relate and respond to each other from an experience of wholeness and healing for your inner child. Your inner child's needs are met.
Note:
To do self-hypnosis to create the inner mother, use the script above but substitute your mother for your father, the mother's inner child for the father's inner child, and your mother's mother (your grandmother) for your father's father (your grandfather.)
**Thanks to Dr. Ron W. Jue, PhD, for permission to share this technique.**
For over twenty years, Holly has been training and mentoring hypnotherapists at HCH Institute, a California state approved school, which is one of the oldest hypnosis schools in the US. Working with the transpersonal model of hypnosis, she empowers her clients to access their higher Self as an inner resource for healing and transformation. At HCH, Holly traines and certifies hypnotherapists, energy therapists and offers an on site and distance learning program in Parapsychological Studies taught by Loyd Auerbach. In her private practice she combines psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, sandplay therapy, and Emotional Freedom Technique with Reiki and EMDR. Read her FREE ebook Spiritual Hypnotherapy, her blogs and listen to samples of her hypnosis CDs on her web site. Holly is available for on line video sessions.