Everyone experiences conflict in his or her life. It may come in the form of a disagreement with a spouse, co-worker, or a complete stranger. Whatever the case, as conflicts arise we must learn to resolve them effectively. This can be difficult because everyone has different ways of managing conflict. Some have a tendency to be very confrontational and want to resolve problems head on. Others may want to avoid conflict altogether or may beat around the bush. However, neither of these options is the best solution. Is there a way that people can come to a happy medium in order to resolve any conflicts that come their way?
How can we resolve conflict?
Conflict is never fun, but the fact of the matter is that it’s part of life whether we like it or not. We are bound to have differences of opinion about certain things, and that’s ok. This does not mean that a full blown argument has to break out. There is a way to be heard and to also understand what the other person is saying as well. This does not mean that you have to agree with them on the topic as most people seem to think.
Effective ways to manage conflict in your life:
Talk- Anytime a conflict arises, the natural reaction for many is to start yelling. Without even realizing it your voice begins to rise and then before you know it the other person is yelling back at you. When this happens neither one of you are hearing the other person. Be conscience of your tone and make sure that the conversation remains calm and does not turn into a yelling match. If the other person begins yelling first, try saying something like, “I’m not yelling at you, please don’t yell at me. I understand that you’re upset, but let’s talk about this calmly so that we can resolve it.”
You don’t have to be “right”- Many thousands of conflict have broken out because someone is trying to prove that they are right. While you may feel that you are in fact right, that does not always mean that the other person is wrong. It is not necessary to get the other person to believe exactly as you do. Something that may be wrong for you may be the perfect answer for someone else. Keeping this in mind can put things in perspective.
Think before you react-While we have no control over the behavior of other people, we do have control over ourselves. Thinking before reacting can also save you some future strife. As hard as this sounds, the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Think about whether your reaction is warranted. Are there other things going on in your life that are contributing to how you are feeling? Are you really upset with this particular person, or is it possible that you are upset with other things?
Listen to the other person- Many times when dealing with conflict with another person, we may be thinking about a way of rebuttal or to prove our point instead of really listening to the other. If we instead attempt to really listen to what the other person is saying it may be easier to reach a compromise.
Don’t be passive aggressive-A common mistake that people make is being passive aggressive, that is to talk in a round about way about the issue or the person without talking directly about it. This can lead to even more misunderstanding and frustration for both parties. It is always better to talk directly about the issue so that others are not left to read between the lines.
Agree to disagree- If all else fails and an agreement can’t be reached, agree to disagree and walk away. Sometimes it is necessary to come back to the conversation later after both parties have calmed down and had a chance to think about the view point of the other person. Continuing to rehash or restate the same thing over and over is not productive. During your time apart it may be necessary to write some things down so that you can better articulate what you want to say to the other person.
Everyone benefits!
Conflict is inevitable and as hard as we try, no one can avoid it. The next time you find yourself in a conflict, try using these techniques. They will better help you to communicate effectively with others and in the end you both will benefit from it!
Original article source:
http://www.suite101.com/content/conflict-management-the-most-effective-w...
Amanda is a currently a contributing writer for suite101.com. She holds a BA in social services. She works in the social services arena with an emphasis in assisting the homeless as well as victims of domestic violence. Through her experiences in the field she hopes to shed some light on the experiences of the disadvantaged and offer information to those who need it!
In her spare time she enjoys spending time with her family, watching movies and reading.