Understanding and Persevering Through the Darkness and the Delays in the Process of Spiritual Realisation

When we are confronted with difficulties, we employ several different types of responses, mainly depending on instinct, habit, training and the play of the three Gunas, the qualities of Nature, Sattwa, Rajas and Tamas. Sometimes we respond with more effort, sometimes we lapse into depression and sometimes we take a longer-range view and accept the process and the necessary time.

It is a very frequent occurrence for spiritual seekers: they have an opening and get what are called ‘experiences’ of a new consciousness. It could be a lifting up of the awareness above the head, it could be the descent of a force into the being, it could be an opening of the psychic being with an accession of aspiration, devotion, consecration, or it could be any number of what are called ‘psychic experiences’ that shift the mind out of its narrow range and limited ways of seeing and thinking. There are countless types of these experiences beyond the few examples provided here. The seeker comes to embrace the process, feels the enthusiasm and encouragement that these experiences provide, and redoubles his dedication to the path. Then there comes a time when all of the experiences recede into the past and the seeker has what is known as a sense of ‘dryness’, a sense of absence, a sense of darkness, as the work of the sadhana takes place in the being. Old thoughts, habits, responses, reactions, feelings and impressions may come flooding into the being as the force systematically touches all the hidden locked up cellular memories and patterns, brings them forward in order to expose them, and eventually change them. Many seekers feel like they have somehow “lost touch” with the spiritual force that they experienced, and they lapse, in many instances, into a depth of despair or depression, a sense of failure and uselessness of the effort. The ‘dark night of the soul’ is a well-known and described phenomenon.

This becomes something of a tipping point for seekers. They sometimes get discouraged and abandon the course, in some instances, take up the external life fully and try to forget the experience and the aspiration that they were responding to. Eventually, if they are truly ready and called to the quest, they will suffer setbacks, disillusionment and a feeling of uselessness in the pursuit of power, wealth, sex, enjoyment of various sorts in the outer world, will feel the emptiness of wasted time, dissipation or the stupifying effects of alcohol, drugs, tobacco, etc. At that point, they may return to the quest. If this does not occur in this lifetime, then in the next! Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita, assures Arjuna that no effort toward realisation and spiritual growth is ever truly wasted or lost.

Many however continue on. They recognise in some cases the need for patience, persistence and perseverance. They observe the changes and fluctuations and treat them as part of the process and use them to work on the needed transformation of the body, life-energy and mind that can bring the spiritual change through them and into their external actions.

Some live purely on faith. Having had the experiences, they know there is a reality to the spiritual life and they simply abandon their egoistic desire for individual attainment to accept the time, place and circumstances that the Divine places before them.

Sri Aurobindo observes: “… there is always something that either carries us on or forces us on. This may take the shape of something conscious in front, the shape of a mastering spiritual idea, indestructible aspiration or fixed faith which may seem sometimes entirely veiled or even destroyed in periods of darkness or violent upheaval, but always they reappear when the storm has passed or the blackness of night has thinned, and reassert their influence. But also it may be something in the very essence of the being deeper than any idea or will in the mind, deeper and more permanent than the heart’s aspiration but hidden from one’s own observation. One who is moved to yoga by some curiosity of the mind or even by its desire for knowledge can turn aside from the path from disappointment or any other cause; still more can those who take it up from some inner ambition or vital desire turn away through revolt or frustration or the despondency of frequent check and failure. But if this deeper thing is there, then one cannot permanently leave the path of spiritual endeavour: one may decide to leave the path but is not allowed from within to do it or one may leave but is obliged to return to it by the secret spiritual need within him.”

“All these things are common to every path of yoga; they are the normal difficulties, fluctuations and struggles which come across the path of spiritual effort.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 4, Ordeals and Difficulties, pp. 73-74