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Conflict Resolution Articles
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- Lose Your Temper For Good! - by Submitted on May 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ...
Views: 1468(1 vote) - "AR You Ready to Reduce Anger in Your Relationships?" - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRelationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ...
Views: 1467 - ***It Starts with YOUR Attention - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThe act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can ...
Views: 1464(1 vote) - ***Changing Your Mind - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.” - John Kenneth Galbraith Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person ...
Views: 1462(1 vote) - ***Be Honest about YOUR Boundaries - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniIs this you? You start working for somebody new and you want to make a good impression. Maybe you start carrying your BlackBerry with you everywhere and you answer them all night and all weekend. Every time they send you something, you answer them whether or not you are on call. As time goes ...
Views: 1460(3 votes) - The Challenge of Communicating - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2011 from Albert de GoiasAs human beings, we possess a rather unique capability. We are not just passive creatures living within limited confines, surviving at the very whim of the environment. Rather, we are able to examine the activities which change our world, and through an acquired understanding, influence how ...
Views: 1460(2 votes) - 3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ...
Views: 1455 - Adversity, Anger, and Awareness - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've never met anyone who didn't have to face adversity at some point in their lifetime. Whether in our personal relationships, professional lives, in regards to a health issue, academically or financially, hardships seem to be a standard component of life. Of late, many people have adopted ...
Views: 1450 - ***Fight Fair, Here’s How - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThe time has come. You have a conflict and it cannot and must not be avoided. Not everyone agrees on the solution and arriving at an approach that moves you and the team forward is absolutely necessary. Now what? This really does not need to be a big deal. But you do want to set the stage for ...
Views: 1449(5 votes) - Couples Splitting Up Should Try Mediation First - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2009 from Erin JohnstonMost couples separating or divorcing find that they are in a period of high conflict. Some have experienced constant arguments and fights for months or years; some are reacting to a sudden change of heart. Regardless of the circumstances and presentation conflict between the between the ...
Views: 1449(2 votes) - ***Don’t Assume a Thing - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniIn one of the first classes I taught, I had a student who was always scowling at me. It would have been really hard to miss that scowl. He sat in the front row and it was a small class in a small room. He was friendly enough when he entered the class room and when he left for the evening. ...
Views: 1448(6 votes) - ***Can YOU, SHOULD YOU, help resolve the conflicts around you? - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2010 from Margaret MeloniMaybe you've mastered conflict resolution and you like to help others. Maybe you are the one that others come to for help when they have a conflict or you work in an environment where conflict occurs regularly. But somehow you find yourself stepping in and helping to resolve the conflicts around ...
Views: 1447(5 votes) - Intercept Anger Before It Begins - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal part of our human experience. Anger is neither wrong nor bad. As with all emotions, it serves a valuable purpose and in this case alerts us to the fact that something is amiss and needs our attention to correct. It is how we choose to express and apply it that ...
Views: 1446 - ***It's Not Personal - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniSally looked at Mary Carol and said, "Wow how did you do that? How did you just brush it off, I mean Jim just got in your face and told you that he hates working with you. And you are just as calm and collected as ever." Mary Carol looked at Sally and said, "Well I am really not taking it ...
Views: 1444(4 votes) - The Hidden Power of Archetypes - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2013 from Ashoo ModgilArchetype is a symbol, pattern and experience we engage our energy in based upon our culture and values assigned to it. Archetypes are very much universal in their raw form and our everyday language uses archetypal information. When we are ready to look at our life from the symbolic perspective ...
Views: 1444 - Why Flexible Mate Make Marriage Great - by Submitted on May 24, 2017 from Marcia Naomi Berger"Flexibility is a sign of mental health", psychiatrist Tom Smith used to say when we were colleagues San Francisco’s Alcoholism Evaluation and Treatment Center. I was single then and in my late twenties. The men I dated were usually flexible. They had to be, because it was usually “my way or ...
Views: 1444 - The A~N~Y Words and Anger - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThere are thousands of things that trigger our anger: aggressive drivers, rude coworkers, disrespectful children, lying politicians, high taxes, unfairness, and favoritism just to name a few. A critical statement or offensive comment can raise our ire to which we may respond with indignation. ...
Views: 1437 - Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ...
Views: 1437(2 votes) - Just Say "No" to Drama - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt seems as though one cannot make it through an entire day without drama popping up somewhere. Whether at work, in the news, or within our own homes, we are constantly surrounded with chaos and crisis. While some seem to thrive on it, others avoid it like the plague. Not all drama is harmful. ...
Views: 1432 - ***Bringing it ALL to Work - by Submitted on May 05, 2010 from Margaret MeloniI remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really ...
Views: 1428(4 votes) - ***Choose YOUR Battles - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part ...
Views: 1427(3 votes) - Being In Love Now by Johanna Courtleigh, MA, LPC - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from Johanna Courtleigh, MA,Most of us have been taught that love is a commodity. Something someone either has for us or not. Something that can either be given or taken away, won or lost. Thus, we become dependent on an ‘other’ to make us feel happy and secure. But any dependency can be fraught with distress and ...
Views: 1427(1 vote) - Consciously and Subconsciously Redirecting Your Thoughts - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2015 from Latorria FreemanI have learned that in order to redirect your thoughts, you have to consciously and subconsciously want the same thing. If your conscious mind and subconscious mind are thinking alike, you are able to achieve any goal. In other words, if subconsciously you do not really believe you will complete ...
Views: 1426 - Teambuilding in the Home? - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2010 from Toya JervayIf team means any organized group working together to accomplish a common goal, that means that your family is a TEAM! From better communication to just eating at the dinner table together, your Team-Family has goals and missions that you are always working on together. Simple teambuilding ...
Views: 1426 - 7 Steps to Regret Free Decisions - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe're all faced with making hundreds if not thousands of decisions each day. From choosing the time I get up to what I want to wear, whether I should have breakfast or not, how I'm going to spend my day, or what my attitude will look like - we make choices from morning till night that impact the ...
Views: 1424 - Coping with Conflict, Part II - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Julie ChristiansenConflict can be defined as “a perceived divergence of interest, or a belief that the parties’ current goals (needs) cannot be achieved simultaneously.” Does that mean conflict is a bad thing? Not necessarily! Conflict has many benefits. It produces change. It builds collaboration. And, it ...
Views: 1418 - HEALING THE DIVIDE - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2016 from William CottringerHEALING THE DIVIDE By Bill Cottringer “The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world.” ~Max Born. Last Month, I published an article in Security Management magazine, entitled “The Two-Way Manager.” This ...
Views: 1418 - Why We Speak About Things We Do Not Practice! - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2015 from Dr. Mona AeyshaLoot at the following statements given by some of the parents for their own children: Example 1: I am not happy with my kids when they do not conform to my standards of life. I want them to become a gentleman like keeping values that I possess. I want them to choose the paths of life I ...
Views: 1418 - Tough Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEverybody gets angry, even me. Professionally, I've been helping people understand and reduce their anger for twenty years. And in all honesty, I do practice what I preach. I experience far less anger and frustration than I did when I was younger, perhaps some of which is due to age. People ...
Views: 1412 - Your lousy communication skills are hurting yourself and others. Here's what you need to do at once. - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2011 from Patricia HedgeI just received this article from Dr Jeffery Lant. Dr Lant is internationally known for a number of his outstanding accomplishments and is a highly respected author of many top selling books. This article on communication is stated in a way that is so direct and maybe offensive to many, but as ...
Views: 1410 - Get Difficult Relationships on the Right TRAC - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor the most part, I don't associate with people who difficult to get along with. Being a sole entrepreneur, I am not subjected to dealing with obnoxious coworkers, irate customers or demanding bosses (although I am tough to work for but fortunately I get along very well with myself). Socially, ...
Views: 1408 - Silencing Your Inner Critic - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI learned to be critical of myself at a very early age. I never did anything right; everyone else was better than me; and even worse, I was never good enough, period. It didn't help that during my impressionable formative years, society taught that the more you denigrated a child the harder ...
Views: 1408 - Leadership: Seven Simple Steps Can Ease a Confrontation - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2008 from Joe TakashBy preparing appropriately and confronting honestly, you take more control over your professional destiny and demonstrate a rare leadership quality. Art was 58 years old when he realized that his company may have passed him by. He had been with the same employer for 35 years. Art still loved ...
Views: 1406 - ANGER AND POWER: THE CONNECTION - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe all seek to be powerful. I'm not speaking necessarily about having authority over others but we certainly want to have control over our own lives. Yet even the most well-intentioned, enlightened person wants to control a particular situation or individual at times. Certainly, parents impose ...
Views: 1403 - Are You Afraid to Journal? - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Carolyn ShannonIs your privacy extremely important to you? Do you live in or work in an environment where your boundaries are often ignored or crossed? Does the thought of someone reading your diary or journal terrify you? One of the more humorous representations of the ramifications of this is portrayed ...
Views: 1403 - Challenges of Identifications - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2011 from Karen KleinwortStress is a hot topic these days, especially with the state of the economy, the rise in unemployment, and the notion our financial nest eggs are not as plush as they once were. In my recent article "Internal vs. External Stress: Can You Identify Which One?” I expressed the importance of ...
Views: 1403 - Your Relationships C*A*N Last Forever - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor me, one of the saddest things to see is a relationship between two people who previously professed their deep love for one another now entering its final stage of dissolution. The divorce rate in this country is tragically high. When I was young and naive I believed that all you needed for a ...
Views: 1403 - A NIGHT AT THE RACES - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was younger I must have fallen asleep for twenty years like Rip Van Winkle. Then when I awoke, somewhere in adulthood, I noticed a most unusual evolving phenomenon: in a world where only two distinct races existed (black and white) there were now Hispanics, Asians, Latinos, and others. ...
Views: 1402 - The Anger Exchange: Give Up These 7 to Gain This Instead - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ...
Views: 1402 - More Advantageous Than Anger - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAnger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ...
Views: 1401 - Bully Politicians and What We Must Learn From Them - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've been following the presidential debates, you are well aware of the bullying behaviors of some of our candidates. Gone are the days when politicians debated national and global issues. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, the debates have mutated into verbal warfare against each opponent. ...
Views: 1399 - Speak Up! Alternatives to Remaining Silent - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal, useful, healthy emotion. It's not our anger that gets us in trouble. It's the way in which we express, or suppress, it that that exacerbates the situation. The majority of people I've met believe that there are only two ways of handling anger: the first is ...
Views: 1398 - With Loss Comes Gain: Bone Voyage - by Submitted on May 31, 2010 from Renee BarnowWishing bone voyage to the hip of and to my hip 86-year-old Mom with slight dementia and 24/7 care created the immediate need for bringing to bear the weight of my coaching skills. These skills and coaching models are my immediate go-to place when facing tough situations and of course when ...
Views: 1398 - 5 Important Tips to Help You Talk to Your Spouse about Money - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2009 from Pamela LipeAre you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial ...
Views: 1395(2 votes) - ***How Am I Supposed to Do That? - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2009 from Margaret Meloni“Margaret, you share with us these great tips for treating people with compassion. You make sense when you remind us that other people’s behavior is about them. But how are we supposed to really do this in the real world? Especially when someone is right in my face and I just want to yell at ...
Views: 1394(3 votes) - Anger: The Bigger Picture - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ...
Views: 1393 - Conflict and Relationship Stress - Watch Out For These 7 Trouble-Makers and Save Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2008 from Elisabeth KuhnIf you've ever been in a serious, committed relationship, you know that there will be stressful moments. Whether it's "Honey, you never do the dishes!" or "Why do I always have to walk the dog?" - there's bound to be a time when the two of you don't click perfectly. Don't worry - it's natural to ...
Views: 1392 - The Unsealed Meaning of Daniel: Christ said to study the Bible's geopolitical prophecies of endtimes - by Submitted on Jun 08, 2014 from Richard RuhlingSummary: Daniel was told to seal his book “till the time of the end,” but his book defines that time. His vision [chazon] of a ram and goat is at the time of the end, Daniel 8:17. Historians confirm the ram as the Medes and Persians conquered by Alexander the Great, but that was not the time of ...
Views: 1391(1 vote) - ***Seasoning our Behavior - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniHi Everyone, The item below is not a new post, but it has become an ‘old favorite’ and it is appropriate for this time of year. Once again I bring you ‘Seasoning Our Behavior’. This week marks the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. There are many traditions that surround this holiday ...
Views: 1388(3 votes) - Your Best Defense Against Anger - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferCheck out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ...
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